The Queen of Christmas
I am the
self-proclaimed Queen of Christmas. It is my favorite time of year, the time
when I really shine. I love to decorate my living room for the holidays. My
decorations don’t extend to other rooms, with the exception of battery operated
candles that I put in my window.
"Christmas Candle" by Esperanza Habla
One of the
things I love to do every holiday season is to put up my Christmas tree. I
always put it up early every year, so I can enjoy it for a longer period of
time. The lights on the tree create a special ambience in the dark autumn and
winter nights.
I always put up
my tree in October, usually around Halloween, to sort of thumb my nose at the
holiday. It allows me to skip Halloween altogether, and to celebrate the
holidays as I want to. I then leave the tree up into the New Year, taking it
down in late January or early February. Some years I’ve left the tree up until
March. One year I didn’t take my tree down at all!
*
This year, I had
the opportunity to put up my Christmas tree earlier than I normally do. I had a
week of vacation time earlier in the month; this meant I had time to sit and
enjoy the tree. So why not put it up and enjoy it for a longer period of time?
The next week, mid October, I
built my hot chocolate station in my kitchen. I have a hot chocolate maker,
which I put out on the kitchen counter. I then put out the mixes I use to make
hot cocoa, as well as peppermint candy canes. I had my first cup of hot
chocolate of the season the following night. It was absolute bliss.
The next
morning, I had a workman in to do some work on my house. In reality it was a
primary visit, to gauge the scope of work needed, and to get a written estimate
for the work. As he was writing up the paperwork for my estimate, the workman
noted the cup that I had used for my hot chocolate. It’s the Christmas mug in
the photo above, and says “Naughty or Nice.”
At that point, the
workman chastised me for having used that mug, as he found it to be “too soon”
in the holiday season to use it. It struck me funny that the workman was so
upset about my hot chocolate mug. I then retorted with:
“Did you not see the 7 foot
tall Christmas tree behind you?!?!”
*
At work, I
shared some pictures of my Christmas tree. It’s beautiful, and I love showing
it off. A coworker of mine commented on how lovely the decorations were on the
tree. I then mentioned that I hadn’t actually decorated the tree yet; the
picture just showed the bright lights on the tree, nothing else. At that point
my coworker asked me when I would be decorating the tree. My reply:
“When the workman is done
in my house.”
*
Two weeks later, I finally had the work done
in my home. The same workman came do the work. He finished in twenty minutes, which
I was glad of. He wrote up the paperwork for the job, I paid him, and he was
free to go about his merry way.
But he didn’t
go. He took me aside and again brought up my Christmas tree. He let me know in
no uncertain terms how inappropriate it was for me to have my tree up in
November. To his way of thinking, November is all about Thanksgiving, a national holiday of giving thanks here in the U.S., and turkeys, the traditional meal in a Thanksgiving feast. My response to the
workman’s comment:
“They don’t make turkey
trees.”
The workman then
continued to lecture me about my having my Christmas tree up at such an early
date, and how inappropriate it was for me to have ever done such a thing.
At this point, I was reaching the end of my
tolerance. It’s one thing to have a man talk to you like you’re a complete
idiot; it’s completely another to have a man talk to you like you're a complete idiot in your
own home.
I finally held
up my hand and said,
“Sir, at the end of the
day, it makes me happy.
What’s so wrong with that?”
At that point
the workman took that as is his cue to leave, which he thankfully did.
*
I cannot begin to describe what I felt as the workman was lecturing me. I felt marginalized, as if what I want doesn't matter. I also felt a sense of erasure, like my very existence was being
denied, that my very existence didn't matter.
Erasure is such
a thoughtless, malicious thing to do to someone. I have been erased many times.
It is a horrible experience to go through. Part of me wanted to say....
“I am a person with thoughts and feelings.
I might be too extra for you. I might be too much for you. What I want might seem silly to you. It might seem 'inappropriate' to you. But I exist, and what I want, and what makes me happy, matters. It may not matter to you, but it matters to me. I
am living my best life as my true, authentic self. My choices and decisions are mine. I don’t need your opinion , nor do I require your approval.”
*
For years now, I
have felt an affinity to my Christmas tree. It’s almost become a symbol, or
representation, of me. Love me, love my Christmas tree.
I have a story
to share with you, entitled “The Christmas Tree.” My family and closest friends
know this story, but no one else on the planet knows the story.
I never thought
I would be sharing this story. It seems too personal to share, to private. But,
the time has come to share it. It will help you understand why I felt so erased
by the above interaction.
The Christmas Tree
In the early 1970s a family had three natural children. They later
took in foster children, and adopted one of the children who had been in their
home, a toddler boy.
A few years later, the family received a call about a sickly
infant girl that was in need of a home. She was a ward of the state, and would
not be returning to her home. Doctors weren’t sure that the baby girl would
survive her health challenges. However, a month into her ordeal, the infant was
released from the hospital and was placed with the family.
Several months later, the father in the family got a new job; the
job was several states away, which meant that the family would have to relocate. The parents came to the new city they were
moving to, to research the city, learn their way around the town, and to find a
new home for their family. They finally found a home that would work. It would
be a tight fit for everyone in the family, but the parents felt confident that they
could make it work.
The parents then discussed the timetable for the move, and the logistics
involved. They then began a discussion about what to do with the girl foster
child in their care. As the house they picked out in the new city barely had
room for everyone in the family, they decided to place the child back into the
foster care system of their current state before their move.
As the date moved closer, the parents discussed the details for
the upcoming move. The family would be moving in December, and would be in
their new home just in time for Christmas. Part of their discussions regarded the
placement of a Christmas tree in their new home. In talking about it and
thinking things over, the parents decided to keep their foster care child.
After all, if there was room in the house for a Christmas tree, there was room
for a baby.
The family then relocated to their new city. The baby girl was then given a new name, representative of the peace and love of the holiday season-Hope. They spent their first Christmas together as a new family, in their new home, with hope, love, and a Christmas tree.
*
Since the
incident with the workman, I have purchased another Christmas tree. My original
tree was eight years old and showed its age. My cats Jazz and Blues were
kittens when I bought it, and climbed it more times than I can count. Eight years later the branches of the tree were
askew, and hung in place like a dislocated limb. I suspect that the cats chewed
some of the wires as well, as the lights only worked half of the time.
My brand new
Christmas tree is absolutely spectacular. The new tree has LED lights. The lights on the tree are synchronized and created through an app on a smartphone or tablet. The app can create countless
effects, and the lights can become any color in the rainbow. In the future, it is
predicted that all pre-lit artificial Christmas trees will have similar LED
lights. I know that, for years to come, my Christmases will be merry and bright.
*
So you see, it is only natural that I have an affinity for, and have a strong tie, to Christmas trees. I love putting up my Christmas tree early. It allows me to enjoy it for a greater length of time, and gives me an energy boost in the bleak midwinter. It makes me happy. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. After all, love me, love my Christmas tree.
Incidentally, I decided to not decorate my brand new Christmas tree this year. I want to have my first Christmas with the tree in all of its beauty. Well, I did put one Christmas ornament on the tree-a gold, glittery, royal, crown. I put it at the very top my Christmas tree. It's absolutely perfect, befitting of the Queen of Christmas.
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