Knock Knock

 
Once upon a time, I began to experience a new and bizarre phenomenon-knocking on my front door. It all started when a new neighbor moved into my building-a single mom with two children, around 10 and 13 years of age.
 
The knocking began with a simple knock on my door, which I believe was a game on “ding dong ditch", a game when kids ring your doorbell-or knock on your door-and gleefully run away before you can get to the door. It’s a simple game, an innocent joke, which means no harm. However, we know that games can quickly get out of hand.
 

*

What began as a simple knock on my door quickly evolved-and devolved-into a series of knocks on my door. It was if the girls had created a new game: “first one to run up the stairs and knocks on her door wins!” When it first happened, it scared me. A sudden burst of knocks on your front door, when you’re not expecting it, would scare anybody.
 
Over the next few weeks, when these incidents occurred, the girls had lost the element of surprise. I could hear them running up the stairs. It sounded like a heard of wild stallions were bounding up the stairs. As I heard them coming, I came to anticipate the inevitable knocks to come. There were times when I’d hear the girls bound up the stairs, bang on my door, then escape to the safety of their apartment. Then a few minutes later, they’d bang on my door again, and bound back down the stairs and out the front door, slamming the front door of our building behind them.
 
While it’s all fun and games for the girls, it was anything but fun for me. It didn’t happen all the time, mostly on weekends, in the afternoon, and not every weekend. Still, it would set me on edge.
 
When it was November, and I had put my Christmas tree up already, as I am wont to do, I decided to put my Christmas wreath on my front door. I was hopeful the wreath would act as a deterrent to the knocking behavior. Amazingly, it worked! I had a wonderful Christmas season, of peace and tranquility.
 
After the Christmas season, I took down the wreath. The next weekend, the knocking on my front door resumed.
 

*

As the knocking continued off and on over the next few months, I noticed that there were patterns in the knocking:
 
       -The knocking on my front door only happened on weekends, never during the week.
 
        -The knocks happened around the same time of day, usually 1pm on Saturdays and Sundays. It made me wonder if the girls had just come from church services.
 
         -The knocking wasn’t habitual. It would happen for a week, and then stop for months. It would start up again, four or five months later, go on for weeks, stop again for months, etc.
 
        -The knocking on my door had evolved into banging and pounding on the door. Literal banging and pounding on the door.
 
What began as a simple game of a simple knock on my door full on hitting and pounding on my door. The knocking and pounding on my door started as mysteriously as it stopped. It would happen for weeks, stop again for months, and resume without warning.

I was disturbed by the sudden noise, and my cats were as well. It seemed that my home were the setting of a horror movie: “The knocking’s coming from inside the house!”

image source: 

https://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2021/07/the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house-horror-trope-is-based-on-a-sady-true-story/
 
Given that the knocking and pounding didn’t happen every weekend, and wouldn’t happen for months at a time, it led me to believe that the girls didn’t live there fulltime. They would have to have had incredible amounts of willpower to not knock on my door for months on end.
 

*

About a year later, when coming home from work, I happened to see some new damage to my door. I then inspected the door, from all sides and angles. I was shocked to see the level of damage. I had a wooden fire door, which was over 30 years old. It had begun to split, on the front panel of the door.
 
Now however there was new damage at the back of the door. This resulted in a bowing of the front and back door panels away from the core of the door. This bowing of the door panels meant it was no longer in alignment with the door frame, which prevented it from shutting and locking properly.  I then began to secure my home with the doorknob lock during the day, and the doorknob and deadbolt only at night. Over time, however, I wasn’t able to use the deadbolt at all. This lasted for more than a year.
 

*

Thinking back to when the neighbors first moved in, the mother and I said hello to one another, and I welcomed her to the building. We saw each other now and again in the hallway, and always said hello. I saw the girls from time to time, and we all had positive exchanges with one another. The girls even helped me get my groceries up the stairs on one occasion. Our conversations were kind, friendly, and neighborly in every regard.
 
I’m a good neighbor, I have cordial conversations with one and all. That being said, I had had enough of this behavior. When it all began, I didn’t mind the occasional knock on my door. It was a demure little knock, as if to say, “Hi neighbor.” But, over the course of time, the full out pounding on my door-wailing on my door-had become something completely different. 

Overtime the knocks became rapid fire knocking. It was as if the girls were knocking on my door to announce their presence. It was such powerful, insistent knocking that one would think the building were on fire. Regardless of their thought processes, or motivation for their behavior, it was no longer cute, and it had to stop.
 

*

For those who don’t know me, I’m the least confrontational person on the planet. I decided to post a note on my door, to address the behavior:

 

“Stop hitting my door. You have damaged my door.

Please be a kind neighbor and stop banging on my door.”

 
A day or two after posting the sign on my front door, I saw my neighbor in the hallway. She then asked me about the sign on my door:
 
“I saw the sign on your front door, that’s just terrible! Tell me, did you ever find out who it was that was banging on your door?”
 
I knew why she asked me that. I knew it in my bones. She wanted to know what I knew about the situation, and if I knew that her girls were responsible for the banging.
 
I replied, “No, but it sure stopped as soon as I put the sign up.”
 
She nodded and smiled. She knew I knew.
 
I had no intention of taking things further. I wasn’t going to get management involved, I wasn’t going to get security involved, I wasn’t going to call the police, I simply wanted the behavior to stop. I took the sign of my door, and everything was calm and quiet again. Until it wasn’t.
 

*

When the knocking and banging resumed, months later, the damage to the front door continued. In the months prior I had been using my doorknob lock only to secure my home during the day, and the deadbolt at night. But at that point, I couldn’t use my deadbolt at all anymore, as the door was completely damaged. 

That worked out well, for a time. I used the doorknob lock in the day, and put a wooden TV tray against the front door at night. I thought, if anyone breaks in, I’ll hear them, as the tray will go slamming to the floor.
 
I decided to put my Christmas wreath on my door again, to see if that would again be a deterrent. It was September at this time, and the knocking had continued for the past few weeks. I didn’t care that it was September; if hanging the wreath on the door would stop the banging and pounding, it was a means to an end. It had worked the year before, why not try again? 

As soon as I put the wreath on the door the banging and pounding stopped. From that moment on I had a silent night, with no knocks, bangs, or pounds on the front door. It was a peaceful Christmas, which I very much needed. It was a silent night, calm and bright. Nothing interrupted the peace of the bleak midwinter. Until…..
 

*

It was January 2023. I came home from work one night to a sight that stopped me in my tracks: my front door was standing open.
 
Now, the door wasn't wide open mind you, but it was certainly ajar. I sheepishly called out, “Hello? Is anyone there??” Receiving no response, I steeled myself and went in, inspecting every inch of the place. My nervous system was on hyper alert. I thought my home had been broken into, or that it was a home invasion. I was terrified I’d find a burglar or serial killer lying in wait to strike at any second. I did get some befuddled looks from my cats that night. It was as if they were asking, Why is mom skulking around the house?!?
 
I went through every inch of my home without incident. Nothing had been stolen, nothing was missing from my home, and nothing was out of place. I sighed with relief that the worst-case scenarios running through my head hadn’t come true. I took a moment to compose myself, thankful that nothing serious had happened. I then secured the front door as best I could, with doorknob and deadbolt.
 
That was a truly a scary moment. I shouldn’t have gone in by myself. I should have called the police, to have them come in with me, to make sure there was no one in the home. If I had to guess what happened, I think the door didn’t catch properly when I went to work that morning. I have no idea how long the door sat like that, if it popped open in the middle of the day, or if it sat open for the eight hours that I was gone. I was truly thankful that no one had come into my home, that nothing had been stolen, that the cats hadn’t gotten out, and that no one was hurt.
 

*

The next month, things finally came to a head. Christmas was long over. Heck, Valentine’s Day was over. As such, I thought it time to remove the Christmas wreath from my door. Surely those girls won’t bang on my door again, I thought to myself.
 
Three days later, there was a loud boom on my front door. No, not a loud boom, a sonic boom. I remember it vividly; it was Saturday February 18, at 3:15pm. There was a loud, almighty wallop on my door. A split second after hearing the boom, I heard the wooden TV tray, that had been resting on the front door, come crashing to the floor with force. I almost jumped out of my skin.
 
It took me a good five minutes or more to regain my composure, and for my heart to return to its normal place in my anatomy. When I got to the door, I saw what I feared to be true-the front door was open. When the door was hit by that punch, that one single solitary punch, the door gave way. In other words, the girls broke in. As these girls lived three steps away from me, they were long gone by the time I got to the door.
 
At that point, I wrote another note to put on my front door, to address the behavior with the girls:

 

“PLEASE STOP HITTING MY DOOR. YOU HAVE DAMAGED MY DOOR.

I HAVE ALERTED MANAGEMENT TO THIS ISSUE.”

I then shut and locked the door with the doorknob lock. I then got one of the chairs in my dining set and wedged it between the doorknob and the floor. It was the only thing I could do in that moment to secure my home. 

I then spent a few hours writing a carefully drafted letter my homeowners association (HOA), informing them of the matter, and asking them to send someone to my home as soon as humanly possible.
 
As it was now Saturday evening, I was unsure when I’d get a response from my HOA. I barely slept that night, juiced with all the adrenaline coursing through my body. To be clear, this was not a home invasion, burglary, or an attempt to do me harm in any way, shape, or form. Still, my personal safety had been compromised. I was in my home behind a barricade of all things. I took a sleeping pill that night. I knew I would be too wired, too pumped with adrenaline, to get a wink of sleep. Even with the sleeping pill, my sleep that night was fitful at best.

Sunday morning the most astonishing thing happened: the girls came back. The day before they had hit my door with such force that they broke into my home. And yet they came back. It was around 9am. I believe I counted 9 or 10 pounding thumps on my door. As if breaking into my home wasn’t enough, the girls came back for more.

A few hours later I got a reply to my letter, from the president of the HOA. They were distressed to hear what had happened. They then said the handyman for our complex would be out the following morning. I was thankful to have received a response, and to know that my personal safety was of upmost importance.

At one point, the HOA president asked me if I had called the police at the time of the break in; I told her no. My neighbors were black, I am white. I was not about to potentially weaponize the police against a family of color.

*

First thing Monday morning, Darrell, the handyman for our community, came as promised. He was stunned to see the damage to my door. He was further shocked to hear that this harassment had gone on in our community. He told me, “The next time this happens, text me. I live in the community; I’ll be here in five minutes. This is not okay. If this happens again, you call me.”

While there, I asked Darrell what my options were, as residents, in terms of home security. I asked him if we were allowed to install alarm systems, or security cameras, as an extra measure of security. He replied, “Absolutely. This is your home.”
 
Darrell was able to install some screws in the door, at the top and bottom of the door, to put it in better alignment with the doorframe, so I could use my doorknob and deadbolt again. He then set out to secure a new front door for me, which he assured me he could install.
 
That afternoon I ordered a security camera. It came two days later. It took all night to charge, and minutes to install. It also came with a marvelous little sticker that says “Recording provided by…” with the camera name and logo. To have a camera present, with live recording, instantly gave me peace of mind, which I desperately needed at that time. It also put the girls on notice. If they did anything untoward, I'd now be recording it.

 

*

Anxious weeks went by, waiting to hear if Darrell was able to find a new front door. Every company he had gone to, every vendor he had tried, had front doors in stock that had exorbitant price tags. He wasn’t able to find me one.
 
A week or so later, I heard from the president of my HOA. They had spoken with a door company that services our area. The company was advised to the color of our current front doors in the community, as well as their size and style, all of which need to be in accordance with our HOA laws and bylaws. My HOA president then advised I give the company a call. I did as advised and contacted the company about getting a new door.
 

*

The next six weeks were a blur. Yet, I can tell you it had more twists and turns than an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Per the laws and bylaws of my HOA, I was responsible for the cost of replacing my new front door. Nothing was certain as of yet; however, I was informed that it could cost around $1,200.
 
As the new door was in the works, I made a claim with my insurance company. I spoke with the adjuster and told her all that had happened with the break in, and the entire ordeal. There was then a time where there was a bit of back in forth, regarding who was responsible for the cost of replacing the door.
 
My insurance company told me: “Your HOA should pay for the replacement of your door.....”  “My HOA doesn’t pay for door replacement,” I assured them. It’s in our bylaws. While this back and forth was taking place, I got a quote from the door company for the new front door: $2,100.
 
After weeks of back and forth between the HOA and insurance company, the claim was finally approved, as a vandalism claim. My insurance would pay the bulk of the cost, and I would only pay my deductible. Thank you Jesus and Hail Mary!
 
After that, there was about six weeks of back and forth with the door company. They came out to take measurements of the old door, door frame, locks, bolts, plates, screws, and more. The installer was astonished to see the damage that had been done. He remarked, "Wow, they destroyed your door!" All I could do was nod in response.
 
Days of waiting for a new door eventually turned into weeks. Due to supply chain issues, they were having problems finding a vendor who could complete the order. To my surprise this was a custom order, to make sure the new door matched my old one, to meet the HOA’s bylaws, covenants, and restrictions.
 

*

As weeks turned into months, waiting for news on my new front door, the most peculiar thing happened: the neighbors moved out.
 
Shortly after the break in, they received a letter from their landlord. I thought it to be a “cease and desist” letter. However, it might have been an eviction letter. Regardless, six weeks later they were gone.
 
I cannot tell you the peace of mind I felt, knowing the girls had moved out. I felt an immediate sense of calm, and complete relief, knowing they were gone.  No more banging, pounding, wailing on my door. I instantly felt at ease. For weeks I had felt concerned about my door being replaced. What if the pounding on my door were to start again after the door was replaced? That would have truly been horrible, to have damage done to a brand new door.
 

*

As the weeks went on, I received notification that the door company had finally found a vendor who could complete the order! Excellent news!! I waited with bated breath to hear of the progress on the project.
 
Weeks later I received a phone call from the door company, informing me that they would be out the next day to install the new front door. I then informed my manager that I’d be late coming in to work the next day. I was finally getting my door!!
 
It had been four months, almost to the day, from the break-in to the front door install. It took 45 minutes to remove the old door and frame, and close to 4 hours to install the new one.
 
While I was glad to be getting the new door, I was surprised by the noise level of the install. All the banging, sawing, drilling, and pounding set me on edge. I knew it was a good thing, that a new door would ensure my safety, and that there was a resolution in sight. Still, it was triggering to hear the knocks, bangs, and booms. Funnily enough, the man doing the installation was wearing industrial strength headphones, like ones seen on airport ground crews. He was certainly prepared for the noise level. My cats and I, however, were not.

*

In thinking about my neighbors, and the damage done to my door, I know the girls meant no harm. They probably thought it was a hilarious joke to entertain themselves. Or, maybe it was a practical joke, to make me jump and scare me. However, actions have consequences. The girls had done damage to the door. And I was left footing the bill. Thank heaven my insurance company took the claim.
 
Going back in time, this all began around August or September of 2020, which means that this went on for more than two years. It’s hard to believe it lasted that long. It’s hard to believe that the girls engaged in that behavior for that amount of time. It's hard to believe that their mother let them engage in that behavior for that length of time. It’s hard to believe that I let the behavior continue for that amount of time.
 
I recently read a post on social media about the importance of establishing boundaries in our lives. It said something to the effect of:
 

“You’re the one responsible for the damage, 

because you let the behavior go on this long.”

 
I should have been more proactive about the knocking and banging. I should have been more forceful in creating a boundary with the girls. I should have addressed it with management. I should have informed our onsite security. I should have called the police when I saw the front door sitting open that night. I should have gone a great deal of things. I handled it the best way I knew how, the least confrontational way I knew how, to not make waves, to keep the peace. But when my personal safety was compromised, keeping the peace flew out the window. The behavior had to change, right then and there. Lesson learned universe, lesson learned.
 

*

Two weeks ago, I had a week of vacation from work. I had errands to run, and tasks I wanted to accomplish in and outside of my home. However, the week that I was off, it was dangerous to be outside. The atmosphere was full of particulates, due to the wildfires in Canada. It seemed spurious to me at the time, to think that toxic smoke from Canada could have any effect on the weather and air quality in my state. I was completely wrong. I was out one day without my mask, which I’d forgotten at home. I never forget my mask. It was the one time I’d forgotten it. That afternoon I got a headache, which lasted another entire day.
 
For the bulk of my vacation, I was inside my home and couldn’t venture outside, due to the toxic air. While I was sick for the better part of two days, I was exactly where I wanted to be. I was in my home, in my bliss, in complete peace and quiet. It’s something I’d been longing for for close to three years. 
 

*

I know I am a changed person from having lived through this experience, and that I've been traumatized by it, to a certain extent. I’m finally at the point where hearing a noise in the hallway of my building doesn’t fill me with dread. In truth, I hear much less noise coming from the hallway, with the new door, door frame, weather stripping, etc. Yet, the experience still lives a mark.
 
Since the new front door was installed, my cats have been spooked, making note of each and every sound happening in the hallway of my building. When it happens, I tell them, in a calming tone, “No one is coming in. I promise you. No one is coming in.” It's become our new mantra, which helps them and me as well. 
 
So what’s next? It’s just like the Beatles song says, life goes on. There’s a new neighbor in the building, where the former neighbors once stayed, three steps away from my apartment. New neighbors, and a clean slate. I have a new front door. It’s a new day. My body and spirit can release the trauma of these events and establish a new normal.
 
Peace, bliss, and safety were my goal in those days, to just have my peace back. And I have it. Peace, bliss, and safety. It’s what we all deserve to have in the world, especially in our own homes.
 
I have a new front door in my home. It’s a thing of beauty. I also have a new security camera. The doorbell on the camera is a nice feature. I can also access the camera on my phone at any time, whether I'm home or not. I'm safe and secure in my home. I finally have peace of mind, which is truly priceless. 

That being said, at least for right now, I don't want to hear another knock on my door any time soon. 

Knock knock.

 

image source: 

https://www.wizardingworld.com/features/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-dementors-kiss