The Sunken Place

-
 The Sunken Place

Or

Nice Knowing You


11-1-24
It’s 2am on Friday November 1, 2024. I’m awake because of a reaction to a new medication I’m on, not because I want to be. 

We’re 4 days out from a critical election in this nation’s history. Like many Americans, I feel like, “Here we go again.”

In some ways, it doesn’t feel like it did the first time. On one hand, it feels like the country isn’t as dark as it was in 2016. On the other hand, it feels like a dire emergency. 

How did we get here? How the holy hell did we get here? We’re here because a national political party aligned themselves to a convicted felon and sexual predator. Who will save their souls?!? 

Those of us in the country that can see that man for what he is know the truth-he’s running for president to keep himself out of prison. 

The existential crisis if this man were to be president is no joke. He’s declared he will be a dictator on day one. He’s called this the last election. Vote for him and you never have to vote again. That’s because he’s planning on being president for life. Sweet God above help us.   

On the other side of the spectrum is my political party. I remember the first debate, with that man and Joe. I was quite worried for Joe at that point. I thought, “he’s got to go.” His decision to step down, to step aside, was the most patriotic thing I’ve ever witnessed. People compared it to when Washington stepped down from office. Yeah, it’s just like that-slave ownership notwithstanding. 
*************************************************************
Sunday November 3
It’s after 6pm on Sunday. I’ve had a day of digestive troubles, much to my dismay. My digestive issues aren’t based on the upcoming election. That said, there is so much at stake. Too much is at stake. 

People have been agog and aghast at things he’s said of late. He’s called our country a garbage can. He called himself the father of IVF. He even said he would be the protector of women, “…whether they like it or not.” Yeah, I don’t like it. We don’t like it. We’re mad as hell and we won’t take it anymore.
**********************************************
6:30am Monday November 4
Encouraged by the polls last night. Deep red states are turning blue! But, I know polls can be way off. I’ve never been polled, I’ve never known anyone that’s been contacted about how they would vote. Of course, I’ve heard that I live in a blue dot city in a deep red state. We did go blue for President Obama in 2008. Maybe we can shock the nation and do it again.

I remember when Obama won the nomination. I watched his address in Chicago and wept. I wept from a place of joy. Finally we had a President that was more representative of the nation they serve. I wept with hope and possibility. The Obama days were Camelot compared to later years.

In 2016 I went to bed when the dude running now was in the lead in that election. The next morning I woke up to the news that he’d won. I was almost physically sick. 

6:25pm-I’ve been thinking a great deal about the election in 2016, when Hillary Clinton lost and the dude running for President now won. I was almost physically ill when he won. Clinton won the popular vote by 3 million votes, yet he won. 

When Clinton ran for President in 2016, we all thought she’d win. No one thought the dude would win. We thought we would finally break through the glass ceiling. There have been female Presidents, leaders, and heads of state throughout the world for centuries. Mexico just elected its first female President. We can do this!
****************************************
November 7 1:44am
He won. There was only one man running this time, so need to say his name. 

Heartbroken by Kamala’s loss. Yet another Madam President. Hillary, Kamala. 

I dove into Hallmark Channel, and Hallmark Plus, their new streaming service, to escape the bleak reality. Anything but news. 

I took time to journal and to begin processing this loss. I remember this feeling when Hillary lost, a profound sense of loss, for the possibilities of what could have been. 

Later in the day yesterday I watched videos from “experts” on the matter, trying to debrief and hypothesize about what happened. That will be debated for years.

One of the first things I thought about was a social media post I saw when Hillary lost the election back in 2016:


“What I’ve learned tonight: America is WAAAAAAAAY more sexist than it is racist. 
And it’s pretty fucking racist.”
-Patton Oswald 

As TV pundit van jones said, the election of that man in 2016 was a whitelash for the eight years of President Obama. The election of this man again is every bit as much a whitelash as in 2016. 

I saw a video today that said something like, “Democrats, don’t ever put a woman on the top of the ticket again. We aren’t ready.” Guess what America, we need to get ready. 

The election will not only have potentially catastrophic consequences for the US but also for the world. We’re now the laughing stock of the world. Americans are in danger. The world is in danger. We’re at defcon one here.
****************************************
Saturday November 9
Everyone in my social circle voted for Kamala, not him. He won. Somehow. We’re heartbroken, disappointed, gutted, distraught. 

Whatever happens now is on us, the American people. If it happens, we’ve brought it upon ourselves. 

I heard a comment from a woman on tv on the day after the election: “We’re in the sunken place,” the hellscape in the horror movie “Get Out.” 




For many Americans, that’s exactly what they’re doing. Visa applications to leave the country have risen exponentially. Also rising exponentially-calls to LGBTQ+ mental health crisis lines.

To be clear, not every American voted for that man. Many are disgusted and devastated by the loss of yet another overqualified, inherently capable woman to the same incompetent man. Many of us are grief stricken at the loss. That’s what it is, a profound loss. A palpable, visceral pain. Sad to say, we’ve been here before. History denied.

The country needs to learn the lessons of history. History only repeats itself if we let it. Now we’ve given him the keys to the country and the nuclear codes. Buckle up buttercup, hold onto your butts.

I hope we don’t venture into the sunken place. For those who who voted for Kamala, emotionally, we’re already there. 

The world is watching what happens next. The entire world is watching. The whole world is watching. History is watching. History has its eyes on you. It’s watching all of us.
********************************************
Friday November 15
This pain is too deep. The wound is fresh. I cannot bring myself to watch the national news. I can’t watch the local news. A friend said yesterday, “We’re now hearing that man’s name everyday”, to which I replied, “Just like last time.” To be fair, he’s been running for President for ten years.

As much as I cannot stomach to watch the atrocities that are capable of happening, I need to watch. We all need to be watching. We cannot look away or avert our eyes. I need to be aware of what’s happening in the US.

Good God, I never thought I’d have to make an exit plan to escape my own country. That said, it’s what millions around the world do every day, flee their countries to escape oppression and persecution. Why should the US be any different?

That woman I heard on the news was right. We’re in the sunken place. I will do everything in my power to stay where I am, to voice my thoughts and concerns about the upcoming regime. 

To be clear, there was a huge electorate of women voters in this election. To my complete astonishment, I learned that millions of American women voted to protect abortion rights in their state, yet also voted for that man. That is unconscionable to me. That’s like having a baby girl to have her grow up to be saved like a sacrificial lamb, to then be raped by the “President.”

American women have been second class citizens for two years now, since the Dobbs decision reversed Roe v Wade, eliminating a woman’s right to choose. If I had a daughter, she’d have less rights than I was born with.

I think that is a fundamental component to this election, who people voted for and why. I voted for Kamala, for the benefit everyone in this country, for my family, and for yours. Conversely millions that voted for that man voted to benefit themselves.

I’ve looked it up, the tally of votes. As of now. It wasn’t a landslide as many purport it to be. Kamala lost by 3 million votes, which equates to just 2%. That’s the same margin Hillary Clinton won the popular vote in 2016. And votes are still being counted.

I heard on television this week that one of the most searched topics on the internet on the week of the election was “how to change my vote.” This is what you voted for, America. Whether you’re in a democratic republic or an autocracy lies in your hands.

Meanwhile, I’m making a plan for my future. I’m laying the groundwork for my personal safety for the weeks and months ahead. I’m going to renew my passport now, in case I need to make a hasty exit out of here.

I've heard his supporters saying, “What are you worrying about? He’s only talking about deporting illegal immigrants.” That’s only for now. They’re talking about deporting entire families if need be. Who’s next on the list? Women? People of color? Queer people? 

If he starts to jail those that disagree with him, I will be imprisoned. If he starts to deport queer people, my life will be in danger. I hope to leave before I’m taken into a camp. If I have to leave for my personal safety I absolutely will.

The world is watching with bated breath to find out what happens next. First, a peaceful transfer of power. After that, all bets are off. 

Whatever happens, come what may, there’s a reason we’re here on this planet, in this country, for a reason. The reason is simple: to bear witness to what is yet to come. To bear witness and fight for what’s right, in whatever way we can. 

That’s our only choice now, fight or flight. Fight or flight. It comes down to that.

I wish you well in the days and months ahead. Come what may, it’s been nice knowing you.
***************************************
12-1-24
Skies are getting darker. The storm looms on the horizon. Not sure if the impending storm will be a downpour or a typhoon. Personally, I expect something in between.

I’m lucky, I have family members that have stepped up to help me. “If we need to get you out we will get you out.” My eyes are open wide, and I’m watching cautiously. I’m already taking steps to protect myself.

Regarding the election, the loss of Vice President Kamala Harris is palpable, painful, and tangible. I cannot watch the news. I cannot hear that man’s name. I’ve heard his name, and a news story about him, for the last ten years. I cannot do it anymore. Have no doubt that, despite not tuning in to the national news, I am keeping abreast and informed on the situation. My life and freedom could depend on it.

In the last few weeks-dear God it hasn’t even been a month yet-I remembered something I read months go in a book. I couldn’t remember the word, but I’ve looked it up: “saudade.” It is a Portuguese word with no strict translation into English. Dictionary.com defines the word as, “a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent.”

That is the best word I can use to describe the feeling. Many times, words fail to encompass and express the emotion. Grief. Loss. Sorrow. Despondent. Mourning. Despair. Nothing comes close to describe the ache in our souls. 

I did find a moment of comfort amidst the despair-the man that who has lost his majority. He’s only won the election by 1.55%. In thinking of the United States, which has 300 million people in the country. Of that 300 million, half of that number cast a vote in the election. Half voted for Vice President Kamala Harris. And half voted for him. So that means a quarter of the country voted for V.P. Harris. A quarter voted for him. And in the final tally, he only won by 1.55%. That’s roughly 3 million votes. That’s a significant showing for V.P. Harris. Sadly it wasn’t enough to win. That’s the proof that every vote counts.

I stand by what I wrote weeks ago. We are in the sunken place. This world, this country, will phenomenally change on January 20, 2025, inauguration day. It’s a sad twist of fate that the inauguration will land on the Martin King Jr. holiday. That man is the antithesis of Dr. King and everything he fought for. I won’t be watching the ceremony, to be sure. I’ll be somewhere else, shaking my head in disgust.

To those who voted for V.P. Harris, thank you for your vote. For those that voted for him, well, you got what you voted for. I hope you’re ready for the weeks and months-and years-ahead. 

I echo what I wrote weeks ago-fight or flight folks. Fight or flight. If you are a woman in the U.S., make a plan to protect yourself. If you’re LGBTQ+, make a plan to protect yourself. 

Our survival is our responsibility. As individuals, as a nation. History has its eyes on us. Come what may, it’s been nice knowing you.




Post by Pete Souza, Presidential Photographer for George Bush and Barack Obama





-“Somewhere between denial and despair,
I will find a way to come up for air,
And with a deep breath I will summon the fight,
To find a spark of hope in the breaking light.”-Lady Blue Bottle

-“I did not tell you that it would be okay, because I have never believed it would be okay. 
What I told you is what your grandparents tried to tell me: that this is your country, 
that this is your world, that this is your body, and you must find some way to live within the all of it.”
-Ta-Nehisi Coates

-“It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world.”-Mary Oliver



-“A Prayer for Anxious Times:

We are anxious Lord.
Over the things we cannot control,
Over the things we do not know.
We are anxious God,
About the things we do know, and yet…still do not understand.
And so today we ask you to help us breathe deep.
In, and then out again.
In, and then out again.
Remembering to center ourselves in your love.
INHALE: I was made for love.
EXHALE: God is with me.
INHALE: I was made for love.
EXHALE: My presence in this world makes a difference."
-Church World Service

-“Understanding that this America shouldn’t evoke hopelessness. Hope and truth are connected. 
Hope is not naivete. It is bearing witness to truth, still believing in better 
and yielding the energy to contribute to better.”-Bernice King

-“…..Hope as an emotion, hope as a phenomenon, only makes sense in the face of hardship. 
While at this moment in America’s history, hope sometimes feels hard to come by. 
We must never forget that we are the beneficiaries of seemingly impossible change.”
-Sarah McBride

-“Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful, be optimistic. 
Our struggle is not the struggle of a day, a week, a month, or a year, 
it is the struggle of a lifetime. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise 
and get in good trouble, necessary trouble.”
-John Lewis

-“To Women Everywhere: You are the heartbeat of progress. You are seen, valued, and unstoppable. Your strength and prowess are changing the world.”-We the Urban


-“To Women Everywhere Tired of Being Strong All the Time: I know you’re tired. You’ve carried so much for so long, holding it all together even when there’s little left for yourself. It’s okay to feel the weight, to let yourself rest, to lean on others, to let go. You may bend, but you won’t break.”
-We the Urban


-“I don’t know how to convince you to care about other people.”
-We The Urban

-“If your beliefs deny my humanity, question my identity, or disregard my rights, 
my reaction is not the problem.”-We the Urban

-“I am not sure my tiny brain was meant to understand this enormous grief.”-We the Urban


-Everybody’s hurt. What’s important, what corrals you, what bullwhips you, what drives you, torments you, is that you must find some way of using this to connect you with everyone else alive.”
-James Baldwin-“The Artist’s Struggle for Integrity"

-“Sending love to everyone who is tired of being tired, sending love to everyone who feels
 like they’re still waiting for a ‘return to normal’ that will never come, 
sending love to everyone who is mourning the death of simpler times.”
-Michell C Clark

-“Sending love to everybody who feels like they have nothing to be thankful for. 
Sending love to everybody who wonders if thing will ever get better. 
Sending love to everybody who is tired of waking up to a world that refuses to make space for them.”
-Michell C Clark

-“This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair. 
No place for self pity. No need for silence. No room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. 
That is how civilizations heal.”-Toni Morrison

-“Despair is a claustrophobic feeling. It’s the emotion that says, ‘Nothing will ever change.’ It’s different than anger or sadness or grief. Despair is twinged with hopelessness…The research shows that hope is a powerful antidote to despair. What’s interesting, however, is that hope is not an emotion. (C.R. Snyder.) Hope is a cognitive-behavioral process. It’s about having a goal, a pathway to achieve that goal, and a sense of agency or ‘I can do this.’ Right now, the thing that is helping the most is micro-dosing hope. I have no access to big hope right now, however, I am asking myself how I can support the people around me….How can I make sure that, in the maelstrom of my emotions, I stay committed to courage, kindness, and caring for others regardless of the choices made by others? 
Doing the smallest next right thing is hard AF, but sometimes it’s all we’ve got.”- Brené Brown


-“Those who love peace must learn to organize as effectively as those who love war.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.


-“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.”-James Baldwin

-“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”-Martin Luther King Jr.




"Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God"-Liz and Mollie


-“Hope does not demand that you claw your way out of the night.
 It turns your face toward the stars so you don’t miss the light.”-Oh Happy Dani


-“We’ve remained hopefully defiant against Trump’s attacks on human rights, the planet, and basic decency before. 
And we’ll do it again.”-@goodgoodgoodco

"I am glad the inauguration coincides with the King Holiday because this nation will be confronted with the sharp contrast between my father, who espoused love and justice, and Trump, who has often sanctions hatred and injustice."
-Bernice King

-“To those struggling today. You are not alone, you are loved, and you deserve to be here.”
-Muppet History


"What does that jacket do, anyway?"
"It's kinda like a little hug. Sometimes you just need a little hug, you know?"
-Liz Climo




Comments

Post a Comment