Misconceptions

A misconception is defined as a mistaken idea or notion. I heard a very interesting question the other day-

“What misconceptions do people have about you?” The immediate answer in my head was, “Plenty!” I think there are many misconceptions that surround us all. I thought I would go over a few of the answers I came up with in my mind.

The first misconception about me is that I do not speak English. My name as it is seen here is my pen name, not my real name. I chose this name because, in Spanish, it means “Hope Speaks.” I think hope should speak; it truly has a lot to say. I learned a humorous fact about my pen name the other day; I was told by an online friend that it means “Stupid Car” in their language. Go figure. ;)

When people see my name, whether online, in an e-mail, in a social network, on this blog, people tend to think I am of Latin descent, either from Spain or South America, and that I am learning English. In fact, it is the opposite. I am an American citizen, born and raised; English is my native tongue, and I am learning Spanish.

I have been learning Spanish for three years now. I have found that, even at work, people will come in and be surprised that I know Spanish. I understand it; to look at me, you would not think that I know a word of Spanish. I find it amusing when I hear adults talking to their children and they say, “Tell her that…” in Spanish. I listen to try and find out what the problem is. I then say, “Oh, do you speak Spanish?” in Spanish. Quite often the reaction is stunned silence, with a nodding of the head. At that point I converse with them and find out how I can help them.

On another topic, many misconceptions have arisen in my life because I am single. There are many questions, even stigmas that accompany this status. I hear many statements, such as: 

“You must be so lonely, living all alone.” “So where is Mr. Right?” “Do you not want to get married?” “You actually go places by yourself?!?” “How are you going to have any children if you don’t meet a man?” “How are you going to meet a man if you’re not looking?” “There must be something wrong with you if you are in your 40's and have never been married.” “What do you mean you don’t want children?”

I have heard so many of these statements in my life that at this point, frankly, I find them amusing. Truth be told, I do not live alone. I share my space with two adorable kittens. In terms of human cohabitants, yes, I live alone. I prefer it that way. I bought my own home over ten years ago now. After the experience of having roommates in college, I was bound and determined to not have a roommate again. I love the personal freedom that living alone brings me. I love having my own space, not having to share it with anyone, watching what I want to watch on TV when I want to watch it. As far as love and romance are concerned, of course I would love to get married. But only in the instance of a true love, a forever love. Maybe that is still in the cards for me. Maybe not. I am not actively looking for love. However, if love finds me, that would be just fine. As far as children are concerned, I do not want children. I grew up knowing I never wanted to have children. I never got along with children even when I was one. I do not want children. If I fall in love and the man wants children, well, we’re going to have to talk about that. But let it be known-I do not need a man in my life or children to be happy.

Lastly, I think the most misconceptions arise in my life because I am overweight. Others use words like “fat” or “morbidly obese”. Of the words listed here, I am most comfortable with “overweight.” When people think of the word “fat”, it brings up many images, many misconceptions:

“Fat people are lazy.” “Fat people smell.” “Fat people binge eat.” “Fat people are unhealthy.” “Fat people eat twice the amount food than normal people do.” “I’d rather die than be fat.”

I feel the word “fat” is derogatory. I do not equate anyone with the word “fat”. 

Thoughts are one thing; comments that are misconceptions, regarding me, and my body, are another. Comments can range from quiet concern to blatant abuse...

 “You would be so pretty if you lost weight.” “Wow, she has really let herself go.” “What happened to you?!?” “Are you sure you want to eat that? That has so many calories in it.” “Don’t take this the wrong way, but, my church has a weight loss prayer group this weekend. We would love to have you.” “Wow, you remember that? I guess it is true-elephants never do forget.” “Look at her legs-they look like ham hocks. She should be hanging in a butcher shop window.”

There have been many similar comments, from which I will spare you. If someone makes a comment about me, about my weight, whether in gentle concern or disdain, that comment is not going to magically change my body type.

There are many types of people-those who eat and eat and and never gain an ounce; those that gain weight after eating an apple. This can be explained quite easily. Scientists have recently discovered the “fat gene”, called “Plin2”. In people who are overweight, this gene processes fats and sugars differently. People are not overweight because they are lazy-their body processes foods differently. It is simple genetics. Some hope that, knowing the “Plin2” gene has been discovered, testing can be done to “turn off” this gene, and help people lose weight. I might try that. I would love to eat a cookie and not gain an ounce.

When all is said and done, misconceptions are just as the definition states-a mistaken idea or notion. They are rampant in our world; they can range from innocent to inciting. They can be general, global, and highly personal.

What are your misconceptions? What do you think or say about others? What do others mistakenly think about you?