Dialogue-Part Two-The Charge
Dialogue-
Part Two-The Charge
My brain has
been a maelstrom for weeks. Every time I sit down at a computer, to begin to
write what I have on my mind, a storm blows in, sending my thoughts into
complete chaos. I have weathered the storm for weeks. I believe that the storm
has finally passed. I believe it is now time to discuss what has been on my
mind.
The United States is a divided nation. It has been for some time
now, long before the Presidential election of 2016 ever took place.
Political leanings vary. Religious practices vary. Ethnicities vary.
Sexual orientation and gender identities vary.
While countless things differ and vary, hatred remains. Hatred
proliferates. The Southern Poverty Law Center reports that there are now over
1,000 active hate groups in the United States.
Though dialogue a simple idea, conceptually, is anything but simplistic.
In the current climate, it can be difficult to engage in dialogue with anyone.
We are quick to judge. We are quick to anger. Anything can trigger us. Any
little thing can set us off. We are unwilling to engage in conversation with
anyone that is different from us. However, that is one of the ways that real
change will happen in this world, through dialogue.
Let me give you two examples from my life.
*
While in a bookstore recently, I saw a man wearing a red baseball
cap. It had white embroidered letters on the front of the baseball cap which
read: “Make America Great Again” (abbreviated “MAGA.”) These hats were worn by
a Presidential candidate in the Presidential election of 2016. Those who wore
the hats throughout the campaign were in support of the candidate. Today, that
candidate is now the “President” of the United States.
To this day, the red baseball hats are a symbol of divisiveness
and hatred towards women, the LGBTQ communities, immigrants, and people of
color. Yet many followers of the “President” still wear the red baseball hats,
as a symbol of fealty to him, his policies, his values, his ideologies.
Many see the red “Make America Great Again” hats as a symbol of
oppression and hatred. That is my feeling on the matter; I liken it to the
Confederate Flag, another symbol of hatred and oppression. In thinking back on
the moment,
I immediately thought, “He’s one of them.” I immediately made an assumption that the man’s views aligned with
the “President’s.”
Too often we divide our fellow humans into categories of sameness,
namely “Us” and “Them.” The reasons can be varied and numerous as to what makes
someone an “us” or a “them.” Does someone pray like us? Look like us? Eat like
us? Speak like us, Love like us? The list can go on and on. Whoever doesn’t fit
into our “us” category is automatically a “them.”
In seeing the man in his
hateful, divisive ball cap, I instantly labeled the man a “them.” It is natural
to make distinctions between people, between groups of people. We are all
different; we will not be the same in every aspect of our lives. It’s human
nature to think in simplistic terms of “us” and “them.” However, it is when we
assign properties, or judgments to the “us” and “them” that a boundary is crossed.
The judgment, in this instance, came from me. I’m human, and I
made a judgment. Seeing the man wear the red baseball cap, I made the
assumption that the man’s viewpoints were equally divisive and hate filled as
the “President’s.” Perhaps my assumptions were true, perhaps they weren’t. I
will never know, because I never engaged him in conversation.
If I had engaged
the man in the bookstore with the “MAGA” baseball cap on, it might have changed
something in his heart. People wearing these hats are being harassed on a daily
basis. If I had spoken to the man, maybe that would have been the one moment of
kindness he would have experienced that day. I could have been a force for change. Instead
I made a judgment,
entirely based on an article of clothing.
*
The second example did not
happen to me personally, yet it had a profound effect on me. A few weeks ago, I
saw a news story that completely shocked me. The story was in regard to a
protest at the public library in Evansville, Indiana; the public protest
regarded a particular event being held at the library-Drag Queen Story Hour.
The event is an anti-bullying program in which a Drag Queen goes to a
library or school and reads stories to children. The program teaches children empathy, diversity, inclusion,
and acceptance. The event has met with great success in the United States and around the
world.
The day of the story hour in Evansville,
there was a public protest in opposition. After the protest, many attended a
city county council meeting to voice their opposition to the event. The comments
were from a foundation of faith, and were hateful.
The comments that I heard in the news
clip, in opposition to Drag Queen Story Hour, can only be defined as hate
speech:
“speech
that attacks, threatens, or insults a person or group on the basis of national
origin, ethnicity, color, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, or
disability.”
As I have shared here before, I am:
*cisgender (gender
orientation)
*hetero-romantic
(romantic orientation)
* demisexual (sexual
orientation)
As a cisgender, hetero-romantic person, I
am straight. That makes me like 99% of the population.
As a demisexual, which is in the asexual
category, I am queer. The asexual community makes up 1% of the population.
This naturally places me in a peculiar
space. While I am straight, I am also queer. I have a foot in both the straight
world and the queer world.
That being said, I am lucky in that I
have straight privilege. To the rest of the world, I pass as straight. As such,
I am not the target and subject of discriminatory practices that are legal in
many states throughout the country.
Listening to the public comments was
hurtful to me, on a personal level. It triggered me, making me feel as if my
stomach were tying in knots. It was at once hateful, awkward, and demoralizing.
I heard many hateful, triggering words in those comments. I
heard words of judgment, including “sin.”
I heard words of damnation and
condemnation, including “abomination.”
Those hateful, triggering words were aimed
at the Drag Queens that would participate in the event. To my ear, the words
were also aimed at every person in the LGBTQ communities.
I have family members who self-identify
as queer. I identify as queer. In my heart, it felt as if those comments were
aimed at my family members, and at me. My family members and I were called an
abomination, for our mere existence.
As a person of faith, it is troubling to
me that people stand on a soapbox of faith. They preach their beliefs and
opinions, which are most likely based on their church’s dogmas, which are, in
many cases, built upon a cornerstone of hatred. This is true in many
denominations in the Christian faith, as
well as countless other religions throughout the world.
“We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
We are ONE in the Spirit we are ONE in the Lord
and we pray that all unity
will one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by
our love,
by our love
Yes they'll know we are Christians
by our love"
"We Are One in the Spirit" by Peter Sholtes
From a very early age, children in the
church are taught that God is love. God made humanity in his image. I am as God
made me to be, in his image. I was created as I am, how I am, for a specific, special purpose. God does not make mistakes.
It is true that I was not present at the
city council meeting; I only saw the story about the opposition to Drag Queen Story Hour on the news. Yet, I have
conservative Christian friends like this in my life. Friends that I am not out
to. Friends who would believe I am an abomination if I ever were to come out to
them. If I were to come out to them, nothing would ever be the same between us
again.
Therein lays the rub. If I do not come
out to these conservative Christian friends, nothing will change. Perhaps, if I
shared my truth, if I came out to these friends, their opinion might change. It
might have a positive outcome. Maybe through engaging in dialogue with them
they could see me as they’ve known me all these years, and think differently
about those who identify as queer. Maybe they don’t know someone who is queer.
Maybe knowing someone who is queer would change their minds and open their
hearts.
*
Dialogue is a simplistic concept, which
can be anything but simplistic in its practice. Real change can only come about
by being truthful within dialogue. It can be messy, hurtful, awkward, full of
tension, uncomfortable and dangerous. It can even be a matter of life and
death.
This being said, change comes from
growth. It comes from uncomfortable places, uneasy spaces. Nothing will change
in this world if we do not try.
Let me share a brief video which shows
the power of engaging in dialogue:
The man lost everything in his life, until he began a dialogue with others, and opened his mind and heart.
This has been an awakening, a
watershed moment for me. I now have a new perspective in dialogue. More than
that,
I have a charge:
to engage in dialogue with my
fellow humans, in the hopes of bringing about positive change and peace.
When I meet a person, I must
keep a clean slate in my mind. I cannot create any judgments, preconceived
notions or prejudices. I can no longer assume that someone that looks like me shares
my opinions, my core morals and values. I can no longer assume anything about
anyone.
This is the charge, if you
choose. When you meet a person, try to clear your head of all judgments,
preconceived notions or prejudices. Begin a dialogue with those in your social
circle. Learn something new about someone you’ve known for years.
Go into dialogue with a clear
intent. If a topic is raised that you find triggering, express your thoughts on
the matter as best you can. Don’t try to make the other person agree with you. They
have a right to their point of view. Dialogue parties can agree to disagree.
That is our charge, to discuss the issues
we would like to change, the direction we want the world to go in in the future,
to get to know one another, to bring about positive change.
Be open to listen, to share, to
enter into a dialogue with a clear intent, and with a spirit of peace.
“There should be a spirit of dialogue. Whenever we see
disagreements,
we must think how to solve them on the basis
of recognition of
oneness of the entire humanity.
This is the modern reality.”-the Dalai Lama
“Hate,
it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.”
-Maya
Angelou
© Esperanza Habla All Rights Reserved
Comments
Post a Comment