the Act of Comparison

Writers thrive on inspiration. Sometimes we find inspiration, and sometimes, as in this case, inspiration finds us. Yesterday I had an idea in my head for a poem. After some thought, I decided it was way too personal a subject to write about. However, over the course of my day many quotes, images, thoughts on the subject crossed my path. It was as if I was meant to see these things to change my mind. After more reflection, I discovered the topic in question is a universal issue. I could not ignore the signs. I knew I had to write about it.

 I have noticed something, with my new eye on the world, which can have both positive and negative effects. I am referring to the act of comparison. These days, many comparisons are made in entertainment news. Critics will compare a new, up and coming singer to a seasoned singer. Journalists will compare a new film maker’s style to that of an accomplished film maker. People compare a new fashion line to one of a famous designer. Reviewers will say the writing style of one author is reminiscent of another. Those types of comparisons are benign and are beneficial to an artist.

 However, there are other types of comparisons that we make, in our relationships with others, towards other people. At any given time we can have an internal monologue in our head, with thoughts such as:

“I love her hair. I wish my hair would hold a curl like that.”

“Her skin is flawless. I would love to have her complexion.”

“Look at that new car he is driving. You can tell he is making money. I would love to have a car like that.”

“This house is amazing. This is my dream house. I have always wanted to live in a house like this.”

“Wow-she is phenomenal. Is there anything she cannot do?”

Comparisons can become darker, more destructive from there.

In my writing career, I have been fortunate to meet artists all around the world. I have found that, many times, people are more than their profession. For example, I work in a library; in addition, I also write on this blog, and have formed my own publishing company.

Some more examples: I know an artist who teaches and is also a musician. I have met a poet who also performs ballet. I even have one online friend who is an actor, dancer, model, clown, mime, aerialist, musician, poet, playwright, teacher, and puppeteer. To hear of someone who has so many talents, you might think, “Wow! What a talented individual!” Or, you might think, “Wow. And all I can do is knit a scarf.”

Comparisons are not bad things in and of themselves. However, they should be treated with caution. Making comparisons can make us feel bad about ourselves and ruin our self-esteem. Sometimes we do this without even realizing we are doing it. When we make negative comparisons, we are sabotaging ourselves. We are negating our talents, our gifts, our blessings, and everything we have been given.

Theodore Roosevelt once said that “Comparison is the thief joy.” Iyanla Vanzant, minister and spiritual leader, has a more direct quote: “Comparison is an act of violence against the self.”

If you notice that you have made a comparison which made you feel bad about yourself, release the comparison. You were given an abundance of gifts, an abundance of talents, an abundance of riches, and an abundance of blessings. Everything that was given to you was given to you for a reason.

You are a shining light. Let your light shine. You never know what dark corners of the universe your light will illuminate.