Every Single Sound

I am at work with a splitting headache. I believe it is a migraine. If you have ever had a migraine, you know what I am feeling right now. If you have never had a migraine, they are hard to describe.

Migraines are severe headaches which cause different symptoms in different people. Some people see colored lights in front of their eyes. Some people are sensitive to sounds. Some people get physically sick from a migraine. Some take medicine and are feeling better in a manner of hours. Some suffer for days. Some can function, some cannot. It just depends on the person, and the cause and severity of the headache. For me, when I have a true migraine, I am sensitive to sights and sounds. I usually take some medicine, lie down in a dark room, and do everything I can to not be physically ill. I am thankful that I do not have a migraine often.

My headache began yesterday. There was a screaming baby in my library. Her mother was preoccupied on a computer. The baby was, as all babies are, impatient, and craved its mother’s attention. The mother was oblivious to her child screaming. After an hour, I noticed I had a headache. I went to my purse and took some medicine.

In the afternoon, my headache was getting better. Until it was time to go home. The day began rainy and overcast, not a ray of sunshine. The day finished with sunny blue skies. I broke one of my life lessons, one of my cardinal rules: “Never go anywhere without your sunglasses.” There I was, in my car, with a twenty minute drive in front of me, in rush hour traffic, with bright sunny skies, and no sunglasses. I squinted my way home. Today I noticed I was feeling better, but I still had my headache. Then, after the library opened, I noticed the sounds.

People think that libraries are quiet, academic places of study. That image is archaic and could not be farther from the truth. Libraries are now gathering places for communities. Instead of being quiet as tombs, libraries are vibrant places, alive with  the rich sounds of people as they gather as a community and search for knowledge in a variety of formats and sources.

Today, after the library opened, I noticed the sounds. I have noticed every sound in this building. Thankfully, it is not a busy day; however, when you have a very bad headache, sounds are often magnified. For some, sounds can be an annoyance; for others, sounds can be like an icepick to the head.
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When I was on my lunch break, the sounds became too much. I did the best thing I knew to do; I pulled out my mp3 player, my ear buds, and played some soft, very soothing music. To many, it would seem counterintuitive for me to do so, to listen to music when sounds are bothering me. However, it was just what I needed at the time. I was transported to a quiet, peaceful space. For those twenty minutes or so, I was able to drown out the sounds of the world and get some peace.

Imagine it for a moment. You are in a public place with a bad headache. Your eyes hurt. Your head hurts. You begin to notice every single sound.

The automated voice from the computer. A screaming baby. People talking on cell phones. Computer keys clacking. Plastic cases opening and closing. The telephone ringing. A paper cutter squeaking. People talking. Children’s feet running on carpet. The lawnmower out back. A co-worker talking. A co-worker listening to opera on YouTube. The opening and closing of doors. Food in your mouth as you chew it. Ice cubes clinking in drinks. Keys jingling. Cell phones ringing. The automatic door opening and closing. The carnival type music on the computers for children. The whir of the copy machine. Cars accelerating on the street. Cabinets opening and closing. The sound of the hand dryer in the bathroom. Every single sound.

This is my world today. This is where I am right now. I do not have a full blown migraine; if I did, I would not be able to function. I have had many full on migraines in the past, and I know there is a difference between that and what I am experiencing now. I wish I were at home on my couch, sleeping away the migraine.

But I cannot go home. I have a job to do. I am here, serving the public, trying not to let my headache ruin my day-or anyone else’s day. Sensitive to every single sound.

 

 

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