Letters to the Moon....

  Torn   June 20, 2025 Some months ago, I experienced a cloudy, stormy night. The kind of night to be aware of the storm potential-as the weather can change in the blink of an eye where I live.  I kept an eye on the skies, from my second floor flat, giving me a higher vantage point to the happening in the skies; they grew dark right before my eyes. Darker, darker, darker still. I saw an ombré of colors in the clouds, from pure white to dark grey, to bordering on black. Top to bottom: dark grey, grey, light grey, white. As I watched the clouds, the colors faded, morphing into the darker grey colors. Then out of nowhere, I noticed a change in the clouds. There was, all of a sudden, a horizontal break in the clouds. It was if a horizontal window had been opened, right to left, out of the clouds themselves.  I could see blue skies through this window in the clouds. Grey clouds before me, blue skies in the distance, visible through the window in the clouds. It was as...

Year of Firsts    June 20, 2025 Grief : noun: “A deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement”   Bereavement : noun: “The state or fact of being bereaved or deprived of something or someone”   Bereaved : noun: “suffering the death of a loved one” *Merriam/Webster Dictionary This is a year of firsts for me.  The first loss in my family.  The first days of a new world, a new reality. The firsts have hit me firmly.  The first Valentine’s Day without my mother.  My first birthday without my mother.  Then her birthday.  Then Mother’s Day. In the months to come, it will all be new-new firsts, holidays without her here.  Holidays with no meaning; holidays with profound meaning. A year ago or more, I read a book by Jeanette McCurdy: “I’m Glad My Mom Died.” Reading the book, it’s in two parts: before her mother’s death, and after. I didn’t understand it at the time. I now understand it profoundly.  My life is now in two ...

 *Ready for the Rain      June 20, 2025 Dark sky. Cloudy day. Rain about to begin….         ……….…..if it hasn’t already. Storms coming. Days of storms           yet to come. Ready for the rain. Let it come. Ready for a change. Ready for the rain          to clear it all away. Ugliness. Hatred. Chaos. Anarchy. Time to look within. Time to be still. To be. Lots to write. Tons to say. Ready for the rain. Let it come. Ready for a cleanse. Wash away       what does not serve me. Pen to paper,          carry on. No matter what comes. Let it come. Ready for the rain. "Rainy Day" by Esperanza Habla

 "In Memoriam"-written Feb 28, 2025 It’s been a month since my Mom died. Before I left for home, a friend asked me where she could make a donation to, in memory of my mother. I replied, “I don’t know; I don’t know if anyone’s thought about that yet. I’ll have to ask my Dad.” On my trip home, I took a moment to ask my father if he’d picked a worthy charity or organization for memorial contributions to be directed to. He hadn’t thought of it, and had no charities in mind. I mentioned two organizations, both of which I thought would be appropriate. However, I wanted to know what organizations he’d prefer. He then specified two different charities; I made note of them, to make a donation at another time. Days later I returned home, paid some bills, and prepared to make my contribution to an organization my father had specified. However, I was torn. My mother had so many causes and issues that were important to her. How could one donation to one organization symbolize all that was...

My family has experienced a loss. The first for our family. My mother has passed away. One day, three weeks ago, I got the call I’d been dreading, yet knew would one day come. The call to come home to say goodbye. My mother had a chronic illness, which she had for over a decade. While we knew the end would eventually come, none of us knew when. If I was going to make it home, time was of the essence.  I never anticipated this. Not in my wildest dreams. I imagined I would get a call letting me know she’d already passed. I never thought it would happen this way. I flew home, reunited with family members present, and spoke to my mom. Late that night my family and I went to our hotel nearby, and I finally got some sleep. When I woke up the next morning, the gravity of the day fell upon me. I knew it would be the last day I would see my mother. I sat on the bed in the hotel room, blinded by the morning sun. It was so beautiful, the sun pouring into the room. I decided to ...

 Gasp- A Tale of Christmas As we all know, I’m the Queen of Christmas. Not Mariah, not Lacey, me. ;) I have a magical Christmas tree that I can program with an app on my phone. I can make the lights on the tree any color in the spectrum, as well as have it do fifty (or more) programmed effects. Additionally, I can customize the colors and effects, the brightness, the speed of the effect, as well as the duration of the effect. I can have a different Christmas tree every day if I want to! Every hour! Every five minutes! Years ago, before I had my magical tree, I had an evergreen garland on my mantle. It was the latest technology back in the day, in that it would modulate between white and multi-colored lights. It operated on a battery pack, and had a six hour timer. I loved that garland, and used it for years. But, time moves on, technology advances. After several years, the lights on the evergreen garland stopped working. I used the garland on the mantle without lights that year. Ti...