My Dear Sally

Hello dear friend. I haven’t been able to talk to you for a while now. How are you? I am doing well. I have missed you so much Sally.

I am sure that there were many things I didn’t get to know about you; now I will never have the chance. But, I’m sure there are things that you never knew about me. For example, I have a weird brain for dates. I remember when certain things happened. I can tell you the day I met E. I can tell you when M told me the truth and came out. I can tell you the day S and I met. I can also tell you when my friendship with him ended. I remember today, Sally. I remember that you left us two years ago. Today.

So much has happened since I saw you last. I remember going to the hospital to see you. That would be the last time I would see you. And I knew it. I was sorry I couldn’t see you towards the end.

I remember I was at work when we got the call. They called me in to the office, to give me some privacy, to tell me you had died. I remember feeling upset at hearing the news. But, I knew your health was failing. I knew the unfortunate truth, that it was only a matter of time before the cancer took you from us. It wasn’t until I went home that night that the reality of the situation hit me.

Do you remember me talking to you that night? I remember that like it was yesterday. I remember going home and having a moment of prayer, and talking to you. I know you heard me that night. Thank you for bringing me solace.

I remember going to your viewing. I remember going there with A. There were so many people there Sally. I’m sure you were looking down on us and smiling. I remember taking photos, to have for myself. I remember the large television they had with the slideshow of your photos. They had so many photos of you they had giant poster boards full! I remember talking to your husband. He actually remembered who I was. He said that the cards and letters I sent you every week made you feel so good. I was glad to hear that. I remember seeing you, lying in your casket, which was covered in sunflowers. That flower will always be your flower.

I think I last spoke to you a year ago. So much has happened since then. 

As I alluded to earlier, S and I parted ways. We were good friends, and we truly loved one another as friends. But, he was not the man I knew him to be. The person I knew, he genuinely cared for me as a friend, and I know he cared for you. He wrote you that lovely poem that night, when you died. Thank you for drying my tears in his stead.

I cannot tell you what happened with he and I. The end of our friendship was ugly and painful and devastating and humiliating. That being said, it was for the best that it ended. I wish him the best, creatively, artistically. He has so much to give to the world. And to the moon.

Also, last year, my cat Calypso died. It was time for her to go. I had a veterinarian come to my home to have her put to sleep. It was the best thing for her. This wasn’t for me, it was solely for her. That day I knew what was coming, and it upset me deeply.

When she passed, it was truly the most precious thing in my life. When she died, it was just peace. No whine, no howls of pain, just solace, peace. She became energy, light. Like you did. Having the doctor come to send her to heaven was the most selfless thing I have ever done. After that I was not upset. It was over. She found peace. And so did I.

 

My writing is really taking off. I launched a new blog last December. Sally, you wouldn’t believe it. I’ve had over 4,600 people come to my blog since December! I’m getting 1,200 visits a month! I never did that well on my old blog. I began writing to express what I was feeling. I never dreamt that I would share those writings with anyone, let alone start a blog. I am amazed and humbled that people around the world are reading my words.

I have decided that I want to publish my poetry. I thought about it, and decided that the best way to do it is to create my own publishing company. I know, I can’t believe it either! Who would think that about me? Esperanza-entrepreneur!

Speaking of writing, S published his book. He published it. I’m so proud to know that he published it. It is such an honor to know that I inspired him to write it. I bought a copy, as a keepsake. Well, I bought two-one for myself and one for Mr. C. I looked in the back of the book-S did mention you. Thank you so much for helping him write it.

Geez Sally, looking back on this letter, you probably already know all of what I just told you. From your vantage point in the moon, you can see everything that is going on. You can probably see what is yet to come as well.

It feels so good to talk to you again Sally. I have missed you so much. It's funny, I still have your last message to me on my answering machine. I can't bear to delete it. I think of you every time I see the photo of that famous author-you look so much like her. Every time I see her photo on one of her books, I think to myself, “That’s my Sally.”

Thank you for coming to my window last night. I remember lying in bed, trying to get to sleep, when all of a sudden the room was awash with light. I looked out the window, and I saw you, on the moon, at my window. Thank you for bringing the moon to me, and for shining your beautiful light, to comfort me. I think of you as my guardian angel. Thank you for watching over me.

I truly miss you Sally. I miss your smile, your laugh. I have learned so much from you. I am not alone. There are many people who miss you. You were a dear friend to me. You hold a special place in my heart.

Take care my dear Sally. Until next time.

© Esperanza Habla All Rights Reserved